This holiday season, let’s help our kids be safe online

Who would have thought that the small device I use for nearly all my work as an adult would spark so much debate when placed in the hands of our kids?

Smartphones, as much as we love (and occasionally hate) them, aren’t going anywhere. As the mom of a twelve-year-old girl, I’ve had to think long and hard about how to introduce this technology and create a family plan that feels both safe and realistic.

My husband and I decided to gift our daughter a smartphone for Christmas after her ballet teacher explained that she needed to record her Nutcracker dances to rehearse after hours. We turned off cell service and let her gradually ease into using it under our watchful eyes during the holiday break.

Later, we turned on her cell service and set strict parameters: texting, streaming during travel, and using it as a safety/convenience tool for pick-ups and drop-offs. We also made one non-negotiable decision: No social media until age 13.

That didn’t stop her from asking, especially about Instagram.

Now, with Meta’s new Teen Accounts, I feel confident that she can manage her own account, which includes real safety features designed to protect teens by default. They are automatically set to the most private and protective settings; accounts cannot contact them if they don’t follow them, and content filters block sensitive topics.

Here’s a little bonus for me: as a content creator, I’m on Instagram constantly! If my daughter ever posts something questionable or makes a typical teen mistake, I’ll likely see it before she even puts her phone down. With Instagram’s latest supervision tools, I can also see who she messages, set daily screen-time limits, and schedule “quiet hours” (think 10 p.m. to 7 a.m., because nothing productive happens on a phone after midnight).

But let’s be clear: this isn’t about “spying on my kid.” It’s about helping families create healthy boundaries, build trust, and keep lines of communication open–something technology can support, but not replace.

The truth is, even with stronger tech safeguards, nothing can substitute parental connection. These tools only work when paired with open, ongoing conversations with your child about what they see, feel, and share online.

And if you’re a parent who’s not on Instagram yet, consider this a sign and make an account ASAP. Learn the app and understand the landscape your kids want to step into.

When it’s used safely and with supervision, social media isn’t a big bad wolf. There’s a lot of educational content available that can spark curiosity and learning. And yes, while misinformation exists, it also gives kids a head start in building media-literacy skills, which they’re going to need as technology evolves. Plus, social media can help teens find their people, whether they’re part of a minority community, into niche or “nerdy” interests, or staying connected with long-distance friends and family.

These decisions are never straightforward. I’m lucky I have a daughter who considers it a “personal challenge” to lower her screen time each week!

With the holidays (and winter break) approaching, now is an ideal time to start having those meaningful conversations with your kids as they enter this next digital chapter.

Take it from me: setting expectations early and guiding them with confidence can make all the difference.

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Michelle E. Olson-Rogers is a Boca Raton-based writer, influencer and founder of  ModernBocaMom.com.