In the immortal words of “The Wolf of Wall Street” — “I’m not f***ing leaving!” … and neither is Howard Stern, thanks to a contract extension he just announced on “The Howard Stern Show.”

The 71-year-old radio host has signed on with SiriusXM for another three years, ending much speculation about his retirement.

The icon said, “I am happy to announce that I have figured out a way to have it all … More free time and continuing to be on the radio. Yes, we are coming back for three years.”

The extension comes after Stern re-upped for five years in 2020 for a sum that reportedly amounted to between $450 million and $500 million.

He continued, “I was really torn up. I still do love being on the radio. I think the show is better than ever.”

Stern shared his schedule will include summers off and limited trips to SiriusXM’s NYC studios, offering him plenty of flexibility.

Earlier this year, Stern trolled fans by leading them to believe Andy Cohen was taking over his show. Cohen hopped on the mic and joked the show would now be called “Andy 100” before Stern stepped in to reveal it was a prank.

Donald Trump’s second term keeps sparking serious WTF moments … now his chief of staff says his erratic behavior boils down to having “an alcoholic’s personality.”

Trump’s former campaign boss and current chief of staff Susie Wiles spills it all in a Vanity Fair tell-all, explaining her analogy … saying Trump operates like he can do no wrong — a mindset that seems to mirror the reckless, impulsive behavior often associated with alcoholism.

For the record — Trump’s late brother Fred Trump Jr. struggled with alcoholism, though Trump himself doesn’t drink. Still, it looks like Susie knows the disease well … her own father battled alcoholism too.

Tuesday morning, Wiles posted her reaction to the article on X … she described the piece as “a disingenuously framed hit piece on me,” saying “significant context was disregarded.”

But honestly, just lately alone, Trump’s been popping off nonstop — making shocking comments about the murders of Rob Reiner and his wife Michele, going after female reporters left and right, and basically beefing with anyone who looks at him funny.

A woman in the Philippines went viral after she showed off some butt-wigglin’ moves on a basketball hoop … before it came crashing down and slammed her to the pavement.

Check out the video — the woman climbs up to the hoop as a crowd cheers her on. She makes her way onto the rim, where she starts twerkin’ for her fans below … but her fun quickly turns into disaster when the pole breaks and the entire structure comes tumbling down.

The woman goes down with it, landing flat on her back, knocking the wind out of her.