Entertainment
Zac Brown’s Show Isn’t Satanic Ritual, But Thanks for the Awareness, Church of Satan Says
Church of Satan
Hell No, Zac Brown’s Show Ain’t Satanic …
Stop Demonizing Rockers!!!
Published
Zac Brown haters are hell-bent on convincing people his show’s Satanic … but, the Church of Satan’s telling people to slow their roll — because they know what the Devil’s rituals really look like!
Here’s the deal … the singer-songwriter played The Sphere in Las Vegas last weekend, and his set was accompanied by some images that sent the righteous souls on social media clutching their crucifixes.
One image rising over the stage was a skeleton with a huge jagged crown towering high above everything … its mouth open in a macabre smile as the Zac Brown Band tore up the stage.
The visuals had concerned onlookers screaming “demonic” … even claiming it was all part of some Satanic ritual … so, we went to the ultimate authority on the topic — The Church of Satan itself.
The Satanic Rev. Jared Mammon tells TMZ … they can confirm the concert in question was not a Satanic ritual — and, they know because the church still hosts some, which you can find on YouTube … if you’re old enough for age-restricted content, that is.
His Unholiness tells us he thinks this is just decades-old hysteria brewing again, recurring whenever the masses interpret “everything that amounts to glorified Halloween decorations as ‘Satanic.’” He adds the world of music is consistently beset by such complaints … with any group that uses dark or non-Christian imagery being branded with the proverbial pentagram.
Mammon says he thinks we’re headed backward to a 1980s Satanic Panic mentality … when thousands of unsubstantiated cases about Satanism dominated news cycles in the USA.
Basically, Mammon thinks people are attacking Zac and the band for no reason … though he says any and all publicity helps out the Church of Satan — so, at the very least, he hopes it’ll interest people in learning the truth about Satanic rituals or reading The Satanic Bible.
Reverend Mammon leaves us with a final thought … urging “Those who are frightened by theatrical skeletons wearing crowns to pause for a moment to reflect on their knee-jerk reaction and consider the implications before jumping to lengths worthy of an Olympic Gold medal.”
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled might be convincing the world he doesn’t exist … but, believers need to check themselves here — because the experts say he and Zac aren’t rocking the stage together in Sin City!
Jeffrey Epstein
Got His Freak On With Ball Gags, Anal Beads …
And Pump With A Suction Cup!!!
Published
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Updated
Just when you thought the Jeffrey Epstein saga couldn’t get any freakier … the House Oversight Committee released a bunch of photos showing the late child sex predator’s favorite toys, including a “Jawbreaker” ball gag, anal beads, and a weird suction cup contraption.
House Democrats released the sex toy pics Friday along with photos of Epstein hanging out with Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Steve Bannon, Woody Allen, Richard Branson, and others. One photo shows Trump and Epstein chatting with a woman … another captures a Trump condom with “I’m HUUUUGE!” written on the packaging.
Three other pictures give a window into Epstein’s spicy sexual proclivities … one shows the terms and conditions for the use of the “Jawbreaker” ball gag, which instructs everyone to always keep an eye on people with the gag in their mouths and never leave them unattended.
The second photo shows a person’s hand fitted with a black latex glove with ribbed tips — and the thumb tip is quite intimidating.
Then there’s the third pic, which really gets into Epstein’s fetishes … there’s an “Extreme Restraints” magazine with a tied up naked woman on the cover. There’s also a heavy black rope, a thick silver chain, handcuffs, pink anal beads, and a “Pussy Pump” box. And let’s not forget the bizarre-looking pump with a suction cup.
London, England
Paint and Switch!!!
Restricted Parking Spot Drawn Around Vacant Car
Published
Instagram/@silvastone
Talk about highway robbery! A London man was ticketed 4 times for leaving his car in a disability-accessible parking space … but it turns out, the space was painted around his car while he was out of town!
The vehicle owner told BBC he couldn’t even enjoy his trip last month … because he could see on CCTV footage he was racking up fines.
When he came back from his ruined vacation, he found 2 tickets on the windshield, as 2 others had inexplicably been removed by an unknown passerby. Thanks for nothing!
He said, “There was nothing I could do.”
But don’t worry, he won’t actually have to pay the fines … probably. The council in charge — clearly not great communicators — still hasn’t let him know directly one way or the other. They apparently commented on a video he posted online, but have neglected to send any official notice.
But how did this happen in the first place?
A spokesperson for the council said, “Our road markings contractor painted lines for a new disabled bay on 17 November in response to a request from a resident. The contractor painted around a car, as is standard practice, otherwise they would have to wait for the space to be free, which may have taken weeks.”
They added, “The contractor took a picture of the car, so we knew not to give the owner a fine. Unfortunately, one of our parking attendants was not informed and issued parking tickets. However, these were not processed into fines because we had a note on the system from our contractor. The tickets were cancelled a week before the video was uploaded to social media, and we have apologized for the confusion.”
Still, the person who requested the accessible parking space noted residents should’ve been given a heads-up.
“It’s the same as doing an extension or any other road work – you let people know,” he said. “Without any communication with your community, that’s the wrong way to do it.”
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